Learning to Be a Resilient Parent
Even on good days, parenting has its challenges. Then there are the days when you are already a bit stressed and it seems nothing goes right: your young child wakes up cranky and uncooperative making you late for an appointment or maybe your child spills a bowl of cereal that spreads milk all over the floor after it was recently mopped. How would you normally handle these situations? Stop everything and soothe your child or yell in frustration?
The way you react – patient or angry, sympathetic or overly harsh -- to these situations creates either a supportive and healthy environment or one that is less so, and can even be toxic, for your child’s brain development. Children who grow up in toxic stress environments tend to perform poorly in school and have fewer positive outcomes, which makes it critical that parents learn supports and are aware of resources that will help them become more resilient so that they can handle stressors and bounce back even stronger.
Parental Resilience, which is one of the Five Protective Factors in The Strengthening Families framework, helps parents respond positively to the many challenges you experience so that you can provide a safe, loving and healthy environment for your children, decreasing instances of neglect and abuse.
We know that parents are often hardest on themselves, especially when they are not sure what to do. The good news is that parents can become more resilient – and raise resilient kids -- by learning more about themselves and building a toolbox of strategies to manage their daily challenges.
See our tips below on how you can get started building your resilience so that you don’t only bounce back from tough situations but are strengthened by them.
Five Tips on Building Your Parent Resilience
Learn to recognize and understand your own “big” emotions – like anger, frustration, sadness, anxiety – as well as what triggers them. The thing about emotions is that they don’t last forever and are part of being human. Your child should see you express your feelings appropriately as they will model their behavior on yours.
Build your “toolbox” of strategies to help you reduce your stress level and recharge your battery. Try taking a walk, meditating, calling a friend or meeting them for coffee, journal to give you time to breathe and calm down. Once you figure out what works best for you, make a list and refer to it when you are feeling stress.
Model self-care for your children. Make sleep a priority. Have healthy eating habits.
Ask for help. Make a list of trusted sources you can turn to with questions and when you need help. Start with adding your child’s pediatrician, child care provider, a spouse or other family member, a friend, and therapists. Who else will you add?
Make a plan for future situations when you are feeling stressed or unable to cope.
Be sure to visit Quality Care for Children’s Strengthening Families webpage to learn more about how you can build your parenting skills, tips and other resources so that your family thrives.
Follow us on Facebook and Instagram at @QCCGeorgia for more advice, resources and information on Parent Resilience and other topics!
Resilient Parent Resources from Strengthening Families Georgia
For more information about the benefits of integrating the Protective Factors to boost resilience in your community, visit these resources:
American Psychiatric Association– Defining and Cultivating Resilience
HOPE (Healthy Outcomes from Positive Experiences) – a new way of seeing and talking about experiences that support children’s growth and development into healthy, resilient adults
The Center for the Study of Social Policy Parental Resilience Action Guide
Mindful- How to Be A Resilient Parent
