Moms, How Are You Doing?

Since May is recognized globally as Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, it offers us a great time to check in on you, and hopefully encourages you to check in on your women friends to see how they are faring. Due to the stigma around mental health, many women do not seek help and their mental wellness issues often go untreated. Yours could be a welcome voice that inspires a friend to contact a licensed therapist for assistance and/or make their self-care a priority.

Most likely you are aware of the Oxygen Mask Rule, which is often heard during pre-flight instruction from a flight attendant. It instructs adults to place the oxygen mask on themselves first then on their children or others who need help. It is the same for moms. Moms need to take care of their mental and physical health first in order to take care of others. But, moms, please do not wait until your mental health is in such an extreme state before implementing self-care.

This year has been hard for everyone, but especially for mothers who most often carry the mental load for their families. We want you to know that we see you and understand the struggles you have gone through and are going through. We also want to make sure that you are aware of resources that provide guidance and help if you are experiencing mental health issues.

For pregnant and new moms

One in five new mothers experiences some type of perinatal mood and anxiety disorder (PMAD), which untreated can create long term, dire consequences for both mom and baby.

It is important to validate that there is no shame around mental health issues and understand that women of every culture, age, race and income level can develop perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. Women who have a personal or family history of mood or anxiety disorders such as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder (manic-depressive), and sensitivity to hormonal changes are more at risk with developing PMAD.

What many people do not understand is that PMAD symptoms can appear any time during pregnancy and during the first 12 months after childbirth. Also, PMAD is different than “baby blues,” which almost 80% of moms experience. Moms with the baby blues often have mood swings and weepiness during the first two – three weeks after giving birth which resolves on its own. If the mood swings continue, or other symptoms as described below are observed, seek help. There are effective and well-researched treatments that can prevent worsening of symptoms and help with recovery.

What are the symptoms?

• Feeling sad, depressed, anxious, panicky, or angry

• Having difficulty bonding with your baby

• Not sleeping or eating well

• Experiencing upsetting thoughts that you can’t clear from your mind

• Feeling “out of control” or “going crazy”

• Worrying that you might hurt yourself or your baby

How can you find treatment or help someone else get treatment who may be experiencing PMAD?

Visit Postpartum Support International or call 1-800-944-4773 #1 En Español or #2 in English.

Text in English: 800-944-4773
Text en Español: 971-203-7773

For moms of older children

It’s not just new moms who experience mental health issues. Women of all ages suffer from various issues, and even more so this past year thanks to the pandemic. In a recent American Psychological Association poll, 3 in 10 adults adults (31%) reported their mental health has worsened compared with before the pandemic, and nearly half of mothers who still have children home for remote learning (47%) reported their mental health has worsened. Many indicated that they were having problems sleeping, and experienced weight gain and increased drinking of alcoholic beverages this past year due to stress and depression.

What symptoms may indicate depression or another mental health issue?

• A lack of interest in things that you used to enjoy

• Crying spells

• Lack of motivation

• Inability to concentrate

• Significant changes in your eating or sleeping patterns

• An inability to cope with problems or daily activities

• More anxiety than usual over events or situations

• Feelings of hopelessness

• Sudden changes in your personality for no reason

• An inability to stop thinking about certain ideas or memories

• Sadness for longer than 2 weeks

• Thoughts about suicide (call 911 if you are in immediate danger)

• Drug or alcohol abuse or illegal use of prescription drugs

• Extreme mood swings

• Violent behavior or a lot of anger or hostility

• Hearing voices or seeing things that other people don’t hear or see

What should you consider when looking for a therapist? (Provided by National Institute of Mental Health.)

• Ask about their areas of expertise. Therapists have different professional backgrounds and specialties. You want to find a therapist who has experience working with your specific condition.

• Find out what kinds of treatments they use. Ask if those treatments are effective for dealing with your particular mental health problem or issue.

• Find out how you’ll evaluate progress. Determine how long treatment is expected to last, and when you should expect to gain relief from symptoms and improve your quality of life.

• Don’t be afraid to keep looking. Rapport and trust are essential. Discussions in therapy are deeply personal, and it’s important that you feel comfortable with the therapist you pick.

Here are some warning signs that a friend may need help

• Talking about wanting to die or to kill themselves

• Looking for a way to kill themselves, like searching online or buying a gun

• Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live

• Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain

• Talking about being a burden to others

• Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs

• Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly

• Sleeping too little or too much

• Withdrawing or isolating themselves

• Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge

• Extreme mood swings

How can you find treatment or help someone else get treatment?

• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): For general information on mental health and to locate treatment services in your area, call the SAMHSA Treatment Referral Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

• National Suicide Prevention Line at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

• Visit Suicide Prevention Lifeline for more information on how you can help yourself or a friend experiencing mental distress.

If you need some ideas for general self-care, we offer these examples and encourage you to start with just one thing and go from there to create a schedule that works for you and prioritizes your needs.

• Say NO to activities or people who drain you

• Schedule time to do nothing

• Take a walk in nature

• Meditate

• Do something that makes you happy, like listening to favorite, upbeat music or eating good food

• Spend time with people you love or like

• Use positive self-talk

• Exercise

• Read a book or watch a show that YOU enjoy