Worried About Separation Anxiety?
After months and months of family togetherness during the pandemic you may have noticed that your young children are clingier or easier to upset than before the virus disrupted our everyday life. Re-entering the world and venturing out more frequently can be stressful for them -- and for you.
Separation anxiety is a normal part of development usually beginning around eight months of age up to about 18 months when it gradually begins to go away. As children get to preschool or school age, they are less likely to experience separation anxiety even though their preference is to stay with you or they miss you while away from you. A small percentage of older children have severe separation anxiety disorder, which interferes with your child’s daily life, and should be discussed with their pediatrician.
After the last 16 months, it is to be expected that some parents are more concerned about how their children will respond once school begins in August or with a new child care program.
It is understandable that some children may become clingier in the days leading up to the new classroom or for the first few weeks while they are settling into this new experience, especially after the stressful last year and a half. It’s important that you demonstrate patience and love during this time as well as positivity, excitement, and validation of their feelings. If you are outwardly appearing sad or worried, your child will most likely take their emotional cue from you and react in the same manner.
See our tips below to help your child make a smooth transition to their new learning environment:
Getting Ready for Child Care, Pre-K or School
Listen to your child when they talk about being away from you. Do they seem happy or scared? If your child regresses in their potty training or shows aggression or separation anxiety, it’s okay. It’s only temporary. Listen to their worries and be understanding.
Be sure to attend open-houses, visitor’s days, or family socials scheduled for your child’s new class.
Select a variety of interesting books that emphasize the fun and new experiences children have in child care or school to read aloud to your child in the weeks prior to their first day.
Share stories of when you or your child’s siblings were in a similar learning experience such as Pre-K.
Talk to your child about what their day at child care or school will be like. (Be sure to ask ahead for a schedule so that you can tell your child about all of the activities.)
Have your child start their new bedtime and wake-up routine a week or two before school begins so that they can get used to the change and you have time to adjust it as needed.
Let your child help you choose a new backpack and their first day of school clothes.
Listen to your child when they talk about being away from you. Do they seem happy or scared? If your child regresses in their potty training or shows aggression or separation anxiety, it’s okay. It’s only temporary. Listen to their worries and be understanding.
Find time to play “First day at Pre-K” or a similar pretend game with your child and their babies. Act out how you hope her first day will be, including kissing mommy or daddy good-bye and then playing with their new friends.
Make sure that you fill out all of the necessary forms including any medical concerns or food allergies, emergency contacts, and info about your child.
When the BIG DAY Arrives
Wake up early enough so that your child isn’t rushed in getting dressed or eating breakfast.
Share breakfast with your child and use the time to talk about what they should expect (how you will drop them off, what will happen next, if they will take a nap, and who will pick them up).
Keep your morning conversation positive and exciting.
Help your child feel more comfortable by letting them take a special stuffed animal, blanket, or family photo with them to school.
Don’t leave your child at school without saying goodbye. Plan to only stay for 15-20 minutes. That should be long enough to explore the classroom and make your child comfortable.
Don’t make a big to do when you leave. Say goodbye and then leave.
See these articles for more information, tips, and resources.