6 Tips to Aid New Dads in Creating and Nurturing Bonds with Their Baby
There are lots and lots of books, articles, and other media dedicated to helping new parents prepare for the birth of their first child and what to do once the baby is home. Most of them, until recent years, were written with moms in mind.
Poor dads. For decades they were overlooked when it came to tips, advice and checklists. But we know that new dads need good advice too so we compiled six tips to assist them at the start of their parenting journey.
Why? Because children who develop strong bonds with their parents feel loved, safe and secure. These early childhood experiences, even in infancy, help them foster better relationships throughout life and shape their future development, learning and well-being.
Be a hands-on partner and parent from the very beginning. Newborn and infant care, especially if it is your first child, can at first feel frightening and induce anxiety for dads, just like for moms. Part of conquering these emotions and building parenting skills and confidence is to help take care of your child’s daily needs. This means pitching in during bath time, changing diapers, putting the baby down for naps and bed, playing and cuddling with the baby, and assisting with feeding by either giving your baby a bottle or supporting your partner during breastfeeding. These activities help dads learn more about their baby, encourage bonding, and sometimes, give their partner a much-needed break.
Embrace one-on-one time with your infant. Send mom off for some alone time, and tune into your baby. Together, you and your baby will find what they prefer when it comes to soothing them, how they like to be cuddled, and what songs or books make them happy. You’ll also more quickly learn their cues and how to respond when it is just the two of you. One-on-one time is also a great time for skin-on-skin contact which can be soothing for your both and also promotes bonding.
Keep learning and ask questions. You have access to a world of knowledge if you only seek and ask. Books, articles, websites, and podcasts are ready to provide you with information about your child’s development, parenting techniques and more! Take advantage of friends and family for parenting advice, who will happily share their own experiences. And don’t forget to ask questions of your pediatrician and your child’s caregiver. They are childhood experts and can provide good information in general and specific to your child.
Practice self-care by making healthy lifestyle choices through daily exercise, nutritious meals and taking advantage of opportunities to sleep or nap when available. Ensure that you and your partner take turns recharging your body with some dedicated alone time and/or participating in activities and hobbies you enjoy.
Nurture your co-parent. Bringing a new baby home is one of the most wondrous times in your life. But it may also strain your relationship as you both learn to parent together. Before your child is delivered, take time to share your expectations and listen to those of your partner for how you will adapt to being a parent. When baby comes home, try to stay positive and supportive, knowing you both are tired and dealing with lots of emotions. Routinely check-in on your partner, provide encouragement, and let your partner know what you need from them too.
Ask for help when you need it. Men get postnatal depression too. Once, scientists and doctors believed that the “baby blues” and/or postpartum depression, was specific to women as a result of hormonal changes after they had given birth. Now we know that the mental health of new fathers, like mothers, can be impacted by the new arrival and that they need support too. If you are experiencing symptoms of depression, such as low mood, lack of motivation, anger or violent behavior, an increase in risk-taking or impulsive behavior, feelings of worthlessness, agitation, weight changes, poor sleep, and thoughts of self-harm, seek help from your medical doctor or call/text the Postpartum Support International HelpLine at 1-800-944-4773 (4PPD) in English and Spanish.
Learn more about becoming a new dad, tips for bonding with your baby, and supporting the mental health of fathers:
